Full disclosure, my writing standards may not be up to scratch for the next couple of weeks at least. I set a very high bar the look of things which may struggle to meet but hey!

The truth is I am still dealing with a phenomena known as Aphasia from my recent surgery (4 weeks post-op today!) I have a bit of catching up to before we get to that part though!

Aphasia refers to a neurological condition resulting from sections of the brain not working like usual. Giving rise to the sensation of having something on the tip of your tongue, but not quite being able to think of the expression. The Aphasia’s beginning to improve, but effectively rewiring your brain takes some time and the words don’t always flow. On the bright side it will enable you to follow along with the my progress. It will also be excellent practice for my typing skills in a post-brain tumor world while allowing an excellent reason to keep the next chapter short and sweet. So now with the last of my excuses out of the way, lets begin where we left off, with a troubled sleep.

The first order of the day was to have breakfast in bed. Generally hospital food gets a bad rep, but I would give it a solid 7.5/10. Usually there are multiple breakfast options including, corn flakes, porridge, toast, pure orange to name a few. From there things get better and better, usually you get multiple lunch options which are usually topped off with a bit of ice cream or another dessert, not to mention as much tea or coffee as you can drink. Not bad NHS, not bad at all.

The second order of business to come was the MRI with added contrast with a dye known as Gadolinium. This took about 45 minutes and was honestly not too bad with some happy thoughts and the pro-tip of double ear protection (Both inner and outer.) If you’re lucky enough to have long one like me!

Then began the waiting game for results. Generally things happen a bit more slowly in hospital on the weekends. Since this whole accident happened on the Thursday evening, with my scan being on the Friday that meant being right on the changing of the guard so to speak. This with was further confounded by that fact there didn’t seem to be any Neurologists available in the BRI for consultation, with the majority operating out of Southmead hospital. This meant getting a specialist opinion on my tumor was likely to take a little more time than first anticipated.

I tried my best to spend my time productively and make as full a recovery as possible. (Relatively speaking that is.) I was grateful have have a few visitors which where a welcome sight for the both the food and entertainment they brought! I was frequently reminded how much of a lucky getaway I had, had, as now whole sections of my body had turned shades purple and blue and my two left toes had swollen to twice their original size. I have refrained from posting a picture of my messed up foot so be thankful for that!

It was not until Sunday evening before I received any news back on my tumor.

The most likely diagnosis was a suspected low grade glioma (LGG). Although, they can never be fully sure until they send off for further tests. Located on the left frontal lobe of the brain, it was close to speech and language sections as well fine motor control of the right hand side. It was suspected to be slow growing as indicated areas of low attenuation, which I took as positive sign and had likely been growing for years. They were cautions to avoid being drawn on the extract grade, but simply put, most if not all low grade tumors progress to high grade ones eventually, so aggressive intervention involving surgery was deemed to be very likely.

The Dr’s I had managed to speak to so far were from various random specialties. It had seemed like every one except neurology. In saying this they were very helpful and took me though me scans which I found intensely interesting and horrifying in equal parts. What was immediately clear to me that this was no small mass. It was difficult to say the exact dimensions but my little ‘friend’ had grown to quite a size! I made a mental note to give my tumor a name eventually!

Here’s an image that I did manage to get at this early stage. The tumor is the dark blob that can be seen to the frontal section of the brain.

It was clear that I needed further neurological opinion on this. I was told that I would be brought up at an MDP – Multi-disciplinary panel happening in the next week or so and that they would decide on the best plan of action from me then.

In the mean time they thought it was a good idea if I ruled out any further things that may my spoil my day like more cancer! What fun! But a smart and very necessary thing to do! A plan was formed to keep me in hospital for a further one or two days to allow a full chest and abdominal CT scan, which were done in due course. A fun fact about CT scans is right when they are about to add a special dye for contrast you feel very much like you’re to going to pee yourself ! So if you find yourself in this position don’t panic that warm fuzzy feeling in your kidneys is just the dye being added!

These proved to be all clear and I was relieved to read the words; NAD: No abnormality detected! Phew! It’s strange, but the thought of cancer in my brain proved to be less of mind-fuck than having it elsewhere my body. Totally irrational I’ll admit, but I would take the small wins where they stood!

After all was said and done, I was discharged late on Tuesday evening and since I live close to the city center I was able to hobble the short distance home with a special boot on! I enjoyed an epic Indian that night. It was such a relief to finally get home and I remember washing the smell of the hospital from my body with a steaming hot shower, before climbing into my own bed for what seemed like the best night’s sleep of my life.

I had been given some time off work until after Christmas which would allow me to process my next steps. So far the Company Director’s were the only people to know there was anything more to the official narrative ‘which was that Connor had an accident and would be on leave sick leave until after Christmas’ I was glad for this as the facts were still not all clear and until I knew more myself there was no point worrying others.

So this where I will leave it for now. Intensely grateful for the NHS care I had received at every point of the system. Still shocked and stunned with the knowledge that I have a brain tumor and all of the feelings and emotions that come with it. Lastly awaiting of the results of my upcoming MDP and what further info that would reveal!